Lying in the Hands of God

I can’t help but think God sent this song my way one day when I was asking for direction. Still a bit unstable on the ground I was standing with God,  while driving home I was reassured – He’s got this. Just continue to love and share that love and he will always be here to catch me if I fall and high five me when I find your way.

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When my Dad passed my true struggle with God was increased exponentially. I didn’t understand the God I was raised to believe in and after watching my Dad, a non-smoker who had esophageal cancer, die from a chemical his own country sprayed near him during a war he didn’t want to fight – I lost all faith in God. I was a girl raised up Baptist and had perfect attendance for 10 years in a row – or something crazy like that – and now I was closing the door on the idea of it all and him. God was an excuse. God was an escape goat. God was a joke – and I laughed.

I guess you can’t live that lost in your own hell for that long until you just break down and I did. I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death. I have stared hell’s demons in the eye and crumbled beneath them. I have feared what people would think of my beliefs when I didn’t believe in anything. When I was lost I was judged by others.

Maybe I’ll be your solider Gladly I’ll do your bidding For just a taste of what you’re holding For just a taste you could owe me

Save your sermons For someone that’s afraid to love I’ll be right here Lying in the hands of god

Here it comes diving into to me Now the floor is the ceiling If you never flew why would you? Cut the wings off a butterfly… Fly

Save your sermons For someone that’s afraid to Love you knew what I feel Then you couldn’t be so sure I’ll be right here Lying in the hands of god.

If you feel the angels in your head Tears drop Of Joy runs down your face You will rise.

Filling me up now drain me Skin begins to grow back slowly Faster into until I’m chocking Rinse for my mother.

Save your sermons For someone that’s afraid to  Love you knew what I feel Then you couldn’t be so sure I’ll be right here Lying in the hands of god.

I am in love with my nothing less Tear drops of joy run off my face  I will rise… For someone that’s afraid to Love you knew what I feel Then you couldn’t be so sure I’ll be right here Lying in the hands of god.

Now the floor is the celing If you never flew why would you? Why would you?

Lying in the Hands of God  – Dave Matthews Band

Then I rediscovered God on terms I could accept and understand – the way a part of me always believed just not out in life.  I have felt the joy this song describes in spite of what people may believe.  It’s euphoric. My world has been turned upside down but I guess it was the only way he could get my attention.  I now understand him in a way of love. He is love. Love is all there is and that is my job – to share God –  the spirit of light and love.

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