Music Monday: She Used to Be Mine

“Harmony sinks deep into the recesses of the soul and takes its strongest hold there, bringing grace also to the body & mind as well. Music is a moral law. It gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, a charm to sadness, and life to everything. It is the essence of order…” Plato (429-347)

Music therapy is not an old idea. Music, like your sense of smell, can bring up memories and help you associate emotions with something concrete. It also offers understanding into life experiences. I have used music now more than ever to help me cope with my illness. They call it music therapy. I call it a gift of understanding.

One day when I was feeling so alone. I had just come to understand that at one point in my life I had two paths. Being a right path chooser by nature, I visualized I went left. I seem to have ignored my intuition – never do that by the way.

That path led me to become a person I didn’t recognize one day. I literally looked in the mirror and was disgusted with the person looking back. Do I regret it? No because that path led me to my amazing husband, beautiful children and questioning life’s true purpose. Maybe in my 20’s I wasn’t ready for the life originally meant for me. Maybe I wasn’t ready to understand God in the way I do now. Maybe I was too weak to bear the weight that life sometimes puts on my shoulders. Maybe I needed time to truly absorb life and appreciate it. All I know is now I have taken that path and it has led me back around to an option to choose the other path and I have.

Sara Barellis, an amazing writer and singer, wrote this beautiful song. Another woman pulled these words from somewhere in her soul and gave them to the world. Knowing that another woman at some point in her life felt this way gave me peace that day. A soul sister. We are all connected.

“She Used To Be Mine”

It’s not simple to say That most days I don’t recognize me That these shoes and this apron That place and it’s patrons Have taken more than I gave them It’s not easy to know I’m not anything like I used to be Although it’s true I was never attention’s sweet center I still remember that girl

She’s imperfect but she tries She is good but she lies She is hard on herself She is broken and won’t ask for help She is messy but she’s kind She is lonely most of the time She is all of this mixed up And baked in a beautiful pie She is gone but she used to be mine

It’s not what I asked for Sometimes life just slips in through a back door And carves out a person And makes you believe it’s all true And now I’ve got you And you’re not what I asked for If I’m honest I know I would give it all back For a chance to start over And rewrite an ending or two For the girl that I knew

Who’ll be reckless just enough Who’ll get hurt but Who learns how to toughen up when she’s bruised And gets used by a man who can’t love And then she’ll get stuck and be scared Of the life that’s inside her Growing stronger each day ‘Til it finally reminds her To fight just a little To bring back the fire in her eyes That’s been gone but it used to be mine

Used to be mine She is messy but she’s kind She is lonely most of the time She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie She is gone but she used to be mine

Writer(s): Sara Bareilles

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