Marionette

This was written in November of 2017 – 8 months ago. I’m in a much better place now and honestly when I read this I thought to myself – I didn’t write these words. I did and I’m damn proud of myself that I found my way out of this.

To free myself I must free my words.

I know I am one of the strongest women I know Yet lost in my own head Tangled in the web of voices- I’m a marionette being forced to dance.

To pull one string pulls another To untangle one means to tangle another To find comfort means to lose clarity Wondering if they will ever straighten Allowing me to stand tall.

Thoughts of cutting the strings Cross my mind in desperation My strength twists into weakness.

I’m at the mercy of my mind The voices that never stop Finding respit in tiny moments Quietness alludes me The wolves hunt me down I awake to them at my bedside Strings in their mouth ready to pull.